As hard as it is to admit in the online world of get up and go that we all live in, I’ve never been a fan of coffee. This fact still earns me incredulous looks and gasps as my fellow denizens of the blogging world traipse off to Starbucks together. My poison of choice was Diet Coke… until I discovered that it might be just as bad for me as coffee is purported to be.

So where does that leave me? In search of current caffeine alternatives that won’t land me six feet under. Thankfully there’s a lot of different things out there I need to start trying. Like Shower Shock Caffeinated Soap. Soap? With caffeine in it? You mean, I can take a shower and wake up at the same time? Apparently so. For the less hygeine-oriented there’s also SumSeeds Caffeinated Sunflower Seeds, which will wake you up while you find a place to spit the shells,

For the less faint of heart, you can try out the SurgeStix Inhalable Caffeine Sticks. Of course, this is a little bit too close to sniffing an actual drug for my tastes, unless the “surge” in question is coming from sugar. If all else fails, I can just adorn my body with the chemical symbol for the drug my body is trying so hard to absorb. Thankfully I can do it with t-shirts, earrings, keychains, or even this handy Caffeine Symbol Necklace. Maybe it’ll work through osmosis, and give me some street credit as well.

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